Jenel’s “With Wild Abandon” is a great poem about hard work and self sacrifice. The poem is full of concrete details but the meaning is kind of ambiguous which I think works great.
I think Janel has some awesome lines in here; full of image, energy, and metaphor. My favorite two lines come at the end of the first stanza.
shutting out the frigid water like a slammed door,
finally wringing out a red-eyed, half-drowned me.
The images are laid out quick but in a manner that is still powerful and coherent. I think comparing the building of a dam to slamming a door is a powerful metaphor because it’s so ambiguous subjective yet still concrete. You can slam a door for so many reasons you can slam the door in the face of an old lover, you can slam it in the face of a cop, you an slam it to a cruel and difficult world. It’s a quick image that I think makes this poem more powerful. I like the image of a “red eyed, half drowned me” because it makes the poet seem so weak and vulnerable. When I imagine Jenel in such a state it really makes me empathize with her. The line efficiently connects the reader with the poet. It’s great.
Generally the poem just has a helpless and desolate tone which I always enjoy because that is generally how I feel.
I generally don’t have much negative comments on the poem but there are a few suggestions I have. I think Jenel should make the verses a similar length to each other to make the stages of the rise and fall of her damn more proportionately described. I also think there might be some hesitation to show vulnerability in parts which I would discourage. I really like Jenel’s poem a lot and I hope she keeps writing and pumping out excellent metaphors like the ones in this poem.
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