Critique of Tommy's Poem

Like usual, Tommy’s poems are filled with imagery. Isolation One is no exception. What I love about this poem is how short and to the point it is (then again, it’s very ambiguous). I’m thinking the poem is either deceptively literal or expectedly metaphorical. If there’s anything wrong with this poem, it is that it’s too vague or too poorly executed in expressing the bottom line.

The first line, “Children cycle by like circus then they're gone” portrays children cycling by, so we can assume they’re on bikes. They do so like a circus, so we can assume they’re wild or colorful. Then they’re gone, as they have gone by. I notice that circus is neither plural, nor does it have an article before it. I’m not sure if this is intentional or a grammatical mistake. The second line, “and my mind screams out like a slaughter house at dawn” is pretty straightforward, and is continued in the following line, “or a railway to Treblinka,” Treblinka being an extermination camp in the Holocaust. Simply, he screams to a degree that these places would have experienced. Why he says at dawn, I do not know. Dawn usually implies a beginning generally, or a specific beginning that follows an end. This may imply that something has happened. Perhaps he is jealous of the children? The use of the word circus may be taken as insulting. Jealousy may be present, in this case.

Now, the fourth line, “and then the sun sags like a testicle in flames,” is interesting. The fact that the sun is sagging after a line that mentioned dawn is interesting to me; although, it might be unintentional. Perhaps time has passed quickly. A testicle in flame is interesting as well. Off the top of my head, a testicle might be a symbol for manhood or reproduction. Which, I’m not sure, and how it relates to the first lines, I’m not sure. Perhaps something has happened to the author that has not happened to the children. Otherwise, I’m not sure what the purpose of the diction was. The last line is written, “It's too fucking hot and I go back inside.” Fire was used in the preceding line, and so was the sun, so this following line is understandable. What it means, I’m not sure. Perhaps the author can’t “take the heat.” The use of the word fucking connotates anger, and the retreating inside connotates just what it is, a retreat.

Ultimately, I’m not sure what the poem means, but this doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with it. I’m interpreting it, as specifically as I can, to be the result of an author with some kind of problem, perhaps even trauma. The very strong imagery and references aren’t appropriately proportioned to the meaning of the poem if the meaning is not also as strong. I expect there is definitely some kind of trauma.