caitlin's critique on niki's poem for workshop

honestly, no matter how many times i read this poem, the first three lines keep reminding me of chris brown's song- "look at me now" because of the halting lines describing the traffic lights. that is not to say they are not good lines- quite the opposite. they add a lot of rythmn to your work. this poem is about being stood up, and i appreciate the way you made that clear in lines 6, 10, 11, and 13 to name a few. the repetative mentioning of whomever your waiting for not responding/showing up strengthens the reader's grasp of your inner emotions. you tied lines 16 and seventeen very nicely into the title, or perhaps vice versa. normally i would point out this poem has no concrete details, but i find that this particular work really doesn't need them. perhaps in lines 22 and 25 you could use another term for vehicles other than dancing- only because dancing evokes feelings of joy and grace, which does not coincide with the melancholy and halting style of this poem.