Jim's review for Rhiannon/Kenny/Tracy/Amber

Rhiannon
Vivid descriptions of the beauty and mystery of nature and between a man and a woman throughout the different seasons. I especially liked the line “The days are long and the nights are short, The boy will choose a girl to court”. It reminded me of those times when I was younger and was just beginning to talk to girls. A problem I had with this line, “The colors of the leaves are changing, The girl’s memories of the boy are fading”, was its rhyme scheme didn’t match. The only other problem I had, which isn’t a very big one, is the line, “Pumpkins will grow and apples peeled, The boy and girl running through the field”. But in the line before that, “The girl’s memories of the boy are fading”; her memories are fading and then they’re running through the field. As discussed earlier, try to focus on one theme -- either the season(s) or the relationship between the boy and the girl. Try to break away from rhyming, it'll make it easier to keep focused.

Kenny
I’m sorry, but I don’t really know where to start with this. Though I can say I like the last line a side from the grammatical errors, “U love me as if I were urself and I understand ur vanity.” After that I’m kind of lost. It sounds as though it’s about a woman painting her love for the author but he wants her to love him more. But the text message spelling is extremely distracting and put me off even before I started reading it. If there is a message in there, it’s lost in annoyances and distractions.

Tracy
I think is a very moving story that seems to be about love and mankind’s endless search for it. I really like the line “The rawness and terror of being so exposed and vulnerable, The security that it is all excepted; cherished”. It reminds me of the early stages of a relationship when things go from getting to know each other to sharing everything of yourself with the other person. Where your heart is pounding and even nerves are racing but you don’t care. I wasn’t sure if you were talking about a new relationship or what at the end, it was a little vague. Maybe adding more details could convey that a little better. Although, after hearing what the poem was about, it seems like I completely missed it in my summary.

Amber
The poem is very direct, strong and to the point. There’s a lot of emotion in a short poem. I really liked the line “She looks at their wedding photo across the table, Amused”. It seems as though she’s finally realize that the past however many years have been wrong. This is the most powerful and heartbreaking line in the poem, “She finally hears him at the door, She then slides to the floor, And breaks”. It shows such anticipation and tells of her immediate pending future, that when he walks through the door she’s going to get beat on again. The only thing I can really say is to add a little more description of her feelings of emotional pain, etc. and punctuation would help with pauses and to set a rhythm for the reader.