Jackies Reviews to Rhiannon, Tracy, and Amber

Liquid Soul

Tracy does a great job with this poem. I love the contradictory like the line “The ambition to be the best person because not less is deserved” compared to “I had resigned myself to loneliness and discontent”. I felt that the title of the poem fit the poem itself wonderfully. The poem gives an almost indescribable feeling with lines such as “A soul searing impact”. I felt it was a great first poem for Tracy to submit in the workshop considering lines like “The rawness and terror of being so exposed and vulnerable”. The only suggestion I could come up with is to use a more visual or repetitive lines to get her idea across a little bit more. I feel that I had to read the poem a couple of times before I grasped the concept and that I would have had less of a hard time if there was more repetition or visual references in the poem.

Amber Schleicher

I liked how Amber’s poem is very short and fast but to the point with a good imagery. I don’t feel that the poem should have been longer for the idea of it which is why I like how fast it is and to the point. I really liked the “She sits in stillness” and “sitting in stillness”. The only thing about the poem that threw me off was “She’s a strong woman” and the last line “and breaks” I did not expect the women to “break” and when she did is this suppose to represent that she is no longer a strong women? I would suggest elaborating on this, but not by making the poem longer because I like the idea of how short it is. I enjoyed this poem a lot. After I read it I could see the women at the table I imagined that Pearl Jam song playing in the background.

The Mystery of the Seasons

Rhiannon also does a great job with imagery. As I read her poem I felt as if I was flipping through a calendar. The poem just creates warm feelings and brings up old memories of your own for each season with lines like “Snowmen made from Garden gnomes, people lying together in their homes. I like where Rhiannon went with this poem, I felt it was well thought out and flew together very well. The only suggestion would be to not make a poem so structured. While I was reading it I felt like taking all the words a throwing them around. I felt as if Rhiannon created boundaries for herself and felt she could not go out of the boundaries. Overall it was a great poem and creative idea as well.