Joann's Critique of Becca,Ben, Jaime and Aliza's Poems

Religion By:Becca Hutcheson
This poem (I think) has to deal with the rejection of organized religion yet at the end I like how you are breaking apart from a relationship for example, "Just one more time, but if my heart dies the blood is on your hands." I do like that a lot because a religion can be like a relationship. I also like the line you use "the blood is on your hands" even if it is used a lot, it is very strong and the way these phrases and lines are used. I do like how in your poem you try to "resist" to the religion or relationship you are expressing.

Freezing Fire By:Becca Hutcheson
In freezing fire, I can picture this poem to be about a relationship as well. I like the line "our soft rock, is the aimless purpose." The only thing I do not understand is the line "Our loving hatred give hazy clarity." I do like this poem and the things you described and the metaphor of a volcano is similar to a relationship.

His Mile By: Ben Middleton
This poem made me think a lot because we have always been through this situation where we someone who is hungry begging for money so he/she can eat. I also think this is a great subject for poetry, yet maybe it should be more from your perspective and how you feel and what you opinion is. I think your imagery and descriptions are great, especially the line, "Will you show compassion of speed away, will you ignore or help the needy, will you walk his mile?" I think this poem is very strong about how we feel about the homeless and this "fear" that we don not want to be there and we are grateful for what we have.

A productive Member of Society By: Jaime Hacker
I think this poem is about someone who is possibly in an institution and society was in chaos to her and in the end she became chaos even is she was "fixed" as she says. Also the line "my flesh still bears the marks of my taming." It makes me think she was conformed in some way, and then she says "I'm better" meaning now she can be a better productive member of society. I do like how you describe living in your own world and the way you used your imagery and descriptions.

Seeing You Always Makes Me Think of Pea Plants and Errant Knights By: Aliza Ghaffari
I like the beginning how you set the mood and the feeling. This poem (i think) is about what we inherit from our parents. I think this is a great subject to write about and we feel when we inherit these traits and how certain things get passed on through generation to generation. Although, i think this poem is a little bit difficult to understand but i do like the line, "It scares me to think, that disloyalty is the only heritable trait you have." I feel like i can relate to this poem because I am a lot like my mom and there are somethings I hope do not get passed on to me. I generally do like this poem a lot and how you wrote it and described about inheritance.