Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Jim's critique of Mary Bogdan Hauf & Joann Adamczyk

I totally forgot about this!!!

Mary Bogdan Hauf

it reminds me of a winter scene somewhere far up north. Silence in the Valley, expectant hush, shadows caress herds of deer shrouded in thickets, chipmunks nestled deep in slumber. Early morning while foxes hunt it and successfully catch rabbits that are still sleeping, "devouring older rabbits lingering in the nighttime histories... only to be lost." All the while being watched by a meadowlark. I'm not really sure what's going on here though. It's a little vague, but that very well could just be me. I really liked the line, "...devouring elder rabbits lingering in the nighttime mysteries... only to be lost."

Joann Adamczyk

I'm not sure I get it. I read it 10 times and I'm just not sure what you're getting at. There's no focus or main subject or topic, at least that I am picking out. It sounds sort of pretty/mysterious/haunting, but what's going on? Is something happening in the dark silence behind those thin curtains? I just can't tell and I think you really need to go much deeper with a lot more detail. Maybe give more details about some of the sounds, or some of the feelings you are feeling, or describing the environment.

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