Aliza – Mouse Story
I love this story. This vignette is about Lydia, a loner girl who lives with other female roommates that she doesn’t seem very connected to. She is struggling to have a meditative night at home, but has this mouse to deal with. In the story she feels for the mouse and begins to transfer her emotions to the pseudo pet. The inner monologues are a really special touch and I like how they are set away from the other text on the page. In revision I’d recommend that we are shown the dynamic between Lydia and her mother. There is obviously tension between the women, and I like how it is being touched on so far, and I think it should continue to be a subtle development, but we definitely need to know more.
Tracy- oubliette
This story is about a woman exacting revenge on the priest who molested her son. This molestation led to the boys’ eventual suicide. I can feel the pain of the main character, and I can tell Tracy really got into the role. It’s evident that she can relate to this mothers pain and I think this adds credibility to the piece. Kudos on specificity. That being said, we definitely feel the mothers pain and the violence she inflicts on the priest is a huge part of that understanding for us, but it lasts an awfully long time. I know this would not be a slow event by any means in real life, but I feel like the violence in the work threatens to overpower the actual sentiment behind it.
Jamie- Ambivalence
To start, I like that we can see theme’s in Jaime’s work. They see often to be about feeling unsettled and unsatisfied with the way life is panning out so far, like the characters are always in a state of limbo. I think that’s neat, especially considering all our assignments were so different but all Jaime’s works relates to each other. Any who’s, this piece is about a girl who doesn’t have much direction in life, doesn’t like this fact, and wants someone to take control for her. She makes what might be her first assertive action: the decision to move, or run away. I think all this back story is great and actually necessary for us to understand who this girl is and why she is going to take this journey (I love the description of her family) … but now we need to know what happens next. She could not run away; this title leads me to think she might not care enough to actually follow through. Or she does, but how does it change her? Or how does staying home change her? Does she find happiness or become increasing depressed?
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