clare's crit of mary, joann, and jim short stories

Mary- the education of Mary
This is a nice little autobio of Mary and the struggles she faced earlier in her life. I appreciate the significance that these experiences had for Mary, but I’m not sure it’s a short story; to me it feels more like a post dated diary entry. I’d recommend picking one part of this 5 year sum up to work off of. I’m intrigued by what happened when she became determined and “put up and shut up.” I feel like it’s likely that it was during this time that she learned the lessons she gives thanks for in the final paragraph. Also, show us that you learned these lessons by describing events and showing us that something has changed before and after. Simple generic sentences simply don’t have the heart to convey such deep life lessons.
Joann - Torn Apart
This is a simple story about a complicated situation. Too simple. A woman is bringing her daughter back from a visit with her ex-husband whom she still loves. On the train the daughter asks the difficult question: why can’t we stay with daddy? And the mother responds with a simple explanation suitable for a small child, and then cries thinking about her lost love. The interaction between the mother and daughter is fairly realistic, though I find it hard to believe the little girl is so well behaved, I don’t think that is what is important to the story. It could be the same story without the daughter, because it’s really about the woman and her feelings about her ex-husband, regardless of the child they share. The daughter just makes it harder because she has to see her ex more often which makes it harder to forget her love. I think what this story is missing is real emotion. It’s simply too simple. Give the woman some depth of character; maybe make her not so sappy for her ex, something to give the story some pizzazz.
Jim – a Morning in Tangiers
This is a story about a couple ex-pat friends chillin in Tangiers, drinking in the morning (cos that’s what they do) and generally enjoying their self imposed exile in a lovely climate. One of the guys, Abe, decides today is the day he’s finally going to tell his friends what brought him to Tangiers (that is that he killed a man in self defense). Jim has it down with making us feel like we understand Abe Wellington. He is a man of routine, this one wacky thing happened and changed his life, but still, he’s a man of routine. I love all the details from his shaving ritual, to their same café, food order, drink order etc. But the only thing that bugs me about this work is the last line. I just feel like it’s kind of a cop out. “similar stories of adversity and tribulations?” come on Jim, I know you know you wanted to tell us what Abe’s friends got into, what crazy stunt they pulled that made them run off to Tangiers. Tell us! Don’t worry about page length! Let us into their heads and their daily life like you helped us get into Abe’s! I look forward to it.