Amber's reviews of poems

Ben Middleton, "His Mile"
I enjoyed Ben's poem. I enjoyed Ben's poem because a lot of people in poverty are taken advantage of, or made of, and it isn't fair. I liked Ben's relevance from the average to the poor using the words "his mile". Like, would we be one of those people and just walk away, or walk "his mile" and help out the needy. I also like the words that he chose to use like "fear" and "god bless". Every single human being has fear when they see a person in poverty, and seeing a sign that says "god bless" makes it that much harder. This poem hits home with a lot of people because we all act the same way towards this issue, and it's kind of like a wake up call to most of us.

Mary Hauf, "Free"
I like that Mary's poem has a relevance to nature. It's somewhat of a "boring" topic, so when people decide to write about it, it's refreshing to a reader. However, it takes some serious inferencing to understand what Mary's poem is about, and even now, a reader, I am still slightly confused. In my opinion, Mary needs to go back and revise this poem. Look at her word choice, and her grammar - especially her grammar, as a revision on that will make a better poem.


Jim Bouder, "America"
Whenever a poet decides to write about real issues going on in the world today, a reader gives a certain respect. Jaim wrote about America, and how it has changed over the last five years, from what it did, to what it didn't do, to now what it can, and can't do. Jim's poem is angry. The narrator is angry at America for what it's become, and sometimes it's nice for a reader to read the words they couldn't say. I liked how Jim took an influence from his favorite author and decided to write about something like this. It's not everyday that a person stands up and let's the world know how they feel about America. It's like a silent agreement between everyone in America to not speak bad about it. But Jim doesn't care, and that shows real courage. The one thing I dislike about this poem is the length. This is a poem, not a story, and the longer a poem gets, the more boring it gets.

Joann Adamczyk, "The Commons"
Joann's poem is very intriguing. When a reader first reads this, they believe it could be in a setting near a jailyard. However, after Jackie explains, a reader finds out that this poem is actually set of a college campus. I would make that more clear in the poem. I did however, enjoy the somewhat frightful relevance to a halloween night. It gives this poem suspense, which something that every reader should experience.

Clare McCauley, "Taking a Sit in the Park"
Best thing about Clare's poem: personification. I love how she gives these bugs real life! Her choice of words were good for this poem too, like "devouring" and "buffet". It just gives these bugs that much more realistic features. One thing I did not like about this poem, is the fourth stanza. It's in the middle of poem, and it suddenly switches from the poet talking about the bugs, to the poet talking to the bugs, and there is no transition to help the reader understand.


Sam Weber, Untitled Poem
There is not alot of poet's who write a poem in complaints, which is why I enjoyed Sam's untitled poem. He talks about his bad days and how he has the worst luck in the world everyday. The repitition used at the end of each stanza is a nice reminder to a reader that this particular character does not enjoy his life. I also enjoyed the meatphor used with the cancer patient. I would always title y poem, however. This poem is nice, but titleless, and it gives the reader a sense that this poet does not know where he wants this poem to go.

Jackie Quattrochi, "Those People"
Jackie's poem is very refreshing. Alot of people do not like to sterotype, or even think that sterotype exists, so for Jackie to write about such an issue that people tend to avoid, is nice. I liked that Jackie decided to write about the people that we know, but don't pay much attention too. Everyone likes to write about the poor, or people that serve in war, but Jackie's takes it a step further and writes about the people that we always see, but never take the time to get to know. One place of revision for Jackie and this poem is her transitions. She goes from "you" to "we" to "us" and it's very confusing for a reader to understand who or what she is talking about.

Tracy Madrid, "Liquid Soul"
Tracy's poem "Liquid Soul" was very enjoyable. The theme of the poem in general is very orginial, however with the word choice that Tracy used, the becomes more interesting and fulfilling to read. For example, words such as "transcending" and "astral" are hardly ever used in poems, rarely ever heard of. Tracy uses these words however, so carefully, and it makes her poem that much more intriguing to a reader. The one thing that I dislike about Tracy's poem is that I don't believe that the title fits the actual poem. For example, the poem is titled "Liquid Soul", and to a reader who has not the poem yet, that might mean that the girl's soul is shattered, broken. However, after a reader reads the poem, he or she realizes that the girl's soul is fixed, and she's finally met her happiness. So if there was anything to change about this poem, it would be the title because as a reader, I don't think it matches with the poem itself.

Kenneth Seivers, "A Moment N Ur Eyes"
Kenneth's poem was very interesting. It takes a reader a minute to grasps what he's actually saying, but we get the idea. A few things I liked about Kenny's poem was the fact that he used art in his poem. He just seems like the artistic person, so I thought it was nice to see him portray that in his poem. I also enjoyed the connection he made between the boy and girl and how all they had to do was look in each other's eyes, and they would get lost. The word choice is excellent. An area of revision I would offer would be the "slang" that Kenny seems to endeavor and enjoy so much. It's not professional in any type of way, and it makes the poet look tacky.

Rhiannon Feehly, "Mystery of the Season"
Rhiannon's poem was enjoyable to read. I loved how she related it to a boy and a girl, and the homecoming dance all the while she could have talking easily about her own life. Her word choice was good, and the title being used in the poem itself was a clever idea. One area of revision I would recommend would be to consider the age group she wants to talk about. For example, in one stanza she talks about the children, and in the next stanza she's talking about the homecoming court. The homecoming court is talked about for a good period of time while the children seem to be left in the dust, and that might be a little confusing to the reader.