Ameena's Workshop #1 Critiques

Critique of “Dark Spots” by Alana Roach

Alana’s poem, “Dark Spots”, is a description of the dark places that her mind wanders to at night. There are a few aspects that I especially like about her description. The first is line one of the poem, “My memories are like medieval torture devices sometimes.” What I like is the picture that is painted with her words as well as the instant understanding of how her memories affect her; I am able to empathize with her. I also like the quotes from the voices: “How about the time you stole from your mother,” “You’ll never be happy, you deserve to suffer,” etc. One suggestion is that you, along with the quotes, describe the situations that the voices are referencing; paint a bigger picture. I think that this would help bring the reader further in, helping them to feel more of a connection.

Critique of “Best Friend” by Meghan Harris

In Meghan’s poem, “Best Friend”, she describes the relationship that she and her best friend have and thanks her friend for their loyalty. I like the way Meghan’s poem seems to take a journey through the friendship: beginning with firsts—“first kiss”, “first fight”, “first break up”, “first goodbye”— traveling to now, and listing their experiences in between. It makes the reader feel as if they were there watching the friendship grow. Meghan lists the experiences that she has shared, but, too give the reader an even stronger connection, she could describe more how she feels about her friendship and the experiences that she and her friend have shared.