Kenny's Review of short stories

Critique de Mama by Rhiannon Feehly This short story is about a terminally ill woman who is remembering her mother. She routinely recreates memories of her childhood after she gets doped up. The woman wants to relive those memories of when she was a child under her parents care—specifically, her mother. Then she dies while recreating another moment in time with her mother as she joins her in death. This short story flows well and is easy to read. There is a bit of character confusion and it may help to revise the introduction of characters to avoid this pitfall.

Critique de Nighttime with Daddy by Amber Schleicher
This short story is about a woman who misses her father. She has the routine of visiting her father on his birthday/death day. She wants to relive the special moments that she had all alone with him and that is what drives her to revisit his grave time and time again. This short story keeps optimism as an undertone that serves as a significant relief from the story’s implied sad overtone. One thing that writer may do differently in the future is include more nighttime themes to capture the “nighttime with daddy” allusion.

Critique de Checkers by Ben Middleton
The main character of the story is Timmy. His favorite game is checkers. He became proficient at this game and lost all respect for his opponents. Then, a younger, more jovial character enters his life. His name is David and he beats Timmy in a match of checkers. Timmy, enraged, never plays checkers again. Soon thereafter, Timmy receives a dog as goodwill present from his parents. Time passes and he meets David in the park. A resolution is made and the story ends. I really liked this story. It was down to earth and easily related. One thing that the writer may do differently is develop David’s tenacity for checkers that it may offer some insight as to how he beat Timmy in a match of checkers.

Critique de Stubborn Fifty Mile Trail by Jaclyn Quattrochi
Stubborn Fifty Mile Trail is about a competitive woman whose pride gets the best of her and gets her into a hellish experience on a 7hour trip to PA and back. This story captures a point of view of dejection and accomplishment. The author made this very realistic and it shows in the dialogue of the story. One thing that the author may do differently in the story is expound upon the last five miles to the trail to have a sense of simmering to the story’s conclusion. This was interesting and it had great development.

Critique de Playing Dangerously by Sam Weber Playing Dangerously is about two boys who, out of curiosity, venture into an unknown house and vandalize it. Unbeknownst to them, the resident apprehends them. And they flee. One thing that the author did well is that he told a solid story with a quick rise to the climax and a quick fall. One thing that the author may do differently in the future is he may add more excitement to the chase resolution.

Critique de The Education of Mary by Mary Baugdan Hauf
The Education of Mary is a biographical account of the author. It is the first biography given for our class in the sense of a short story. One thing that the author did well was sum up countless events for a one page short story. One thing that the author may do differently is put an obstacle as the turning point is the story so that it can follow the structure of accomplishment after struggle.

Critique de Torn Apart by Joann Adamcyzk This short story is about a woman who has an inquisitive daughter that wonders about her parents’ interaction. The mother, still in love with her ex-husband, reflects about the way things could be, should be, but just isn’t the way she intended. She leaves and tries to give her daughter a subtle understanding of why things are the way they are. One thing that the author did well was she wrote a very meaningful and clear story. One thing that she may do differently is that she may give all the characters names.

Critique de A Morning in Tangiers by Jim Bouder
This short story is about a man that contemplates his reasoning for him being in the place that he’s in. One short morning is all it takes and he finally deals with years of not facing his motives. After a sit-down with his friends, it all comes out and they finally began to share what they previously had been unaware—why they all came to Tangiers. One thing that the author did well was he used great detail to describe the actions of his characters. One thing that he may do differently is he may give the supporting characters more life.

Critique de Aliza’s Story
The main character in the short story about mice is a woman named Lydia. She goes into distress about having to deal with a mouse that got caught on a mouse-trap. One thing that the author did well was that she showed the fit of human emotion through her story. One thing that she may do differently is she could add more character development in her story.

Critique de Fish and Juleps by Clare McC The main character of the story is Clark. Throughout the story, he tries to cheer up Ida, his woman, but to no avail. One thing that that author did well was introduce the chemistry between the two. One thing that the author could do differently in the future is give a back-story for Ida’s attitude.

Critique de In His Eyes by Becca
The main character of the story is Alice. She meets with an acquaintance named Al. Something happened between the two and it does not transpire throughout the story. One thing that the author did well was that she illustrated a situation that was imaginable. One thing that the author may do differently next time is she may include more of what happened previously that makes Alice react the way she does.

Critique de short story by Jamie Hacker
The main character of the story is the narrator. She explains her life throughout the story. Nothing too great, nothing too minimal, but always needed. One thing that the author did well was that she illustrated a situation that was very human. One thing that the author may do differently next time is she may make a moral of the story to inspire the readers to do a great deed.