Jackie’s review on Sam’s short story
Sam’s short story Playing Dangerously is a story about two boys that, the central character being Nick, that are bored because all their friends have an X-box and they don’t. The boys decide to go explore an interesting looking warehouse to change up their daily routines. Once they are in the warehouse they start to throw rocks at the windows when a strange, deranged man starts yelling at them explaining that the warehouse is his house. The boy quickly get away and seem confused by what had happened to them. I believe the idea of the story is pretty much saying that hanging out with each other, without an x-box may seem boring, but they should not try to look for new adventures because they could end up in a very dangerous situation with a bad outcome. The story seemed to teach the boys the lesson to be more careful, and don’t go looking for trouble. I really enjoyed Sam’s story, and I felt that the idea of the deranged man was very entertaining for the reader. The only suggestions I have would be to expand on the ending of the story more. I think Sam should have explained more about what the boys thought about this deranged man and their adventure. Maybe even explained if the boys ever went on an adventure like that again. Overall I felt the story was very interesting and entertaining.
Jackie’s review on Joann’s short story
Joann’s short story is about a little girl named Marcey and her weekend trips of taking the train with her mother to D.C. to visit her father because her parents are divorced. Marcey seems to be having trouble understanding the idea that her parents are divorced when she frequently asks her mom why they can’t stay with daddy or why daddy cannot come with them. Later in the story the reader finds that Marcey’s mother still loves her father but is very hurt by the letter she found that he wrote to another women. I really like the idea of Joann’s story. Divorce is something many people have to experience and most people can relate to. I also like the idea that it is evident that the mother still loves Marcey’s father, but Marcey’s mother tells Marcey that sometimes parents stop loving eachother and that was why her parents were not together anymore. I felt this was a significant aspect of the story. The suggestions I have for Joann would be to not change the central character from Marcey to her mother. I felt the story would be the strongest if it was from Marcey’s mothers point of view. I also think the story would be stronger if there was some kind of more significant problem going on with Marcey considering that she is dealing with her parent’s divorce and does not understand what is happening. I felt this was a very good theme for a story and overall I really enjoyed reading it.
Jackie’s review on Jim’s short story
The morning of Tangiers is a short story about a man who lives in Tangiers and is very routine oriented. Abe is the central character and Abe sticks to his routine everyday and seems to follow the same order in which he does things every morning. On this particular morning there is something different about Abe’s morning. Although Abe follows his normal routine he finds that there is something on his mind. After going to his usual meeting place to meet his friends for breakfast Abe finds that he really wants to tell his long time friends about how he came to live in Tangiers. The reader finds that Abe used to live in South Carolina in his twenties. One night Abe got attacked by a man trying to steal his money. When the man pulled a knife on Abe, Abe somehow got the knife from the man and killed him. Abe fled from the United States to Tangiers and has been living in Tangiers ever since. Once Abe tells his friends this they all explain that no matter what they are his friend and it ended up that they all had similar stories. I really enjoyed Jim’s story and felt it was well constructed. I felt that this was a story with real action and it was well thought out. I really liked how in detailed Jim went with Abe’s morning routines so the reader could get a better sense of who Abe is. The only suggestions I have for Jim would be to expand more on Abe’s life before he fled to Tangier. To explain more about how Abe was able to leave his life behind in South Carolina to flee to Tangiers. I really enjoyed Jim’s story and felt that it was very well thought out.
Jackie’s review on Kenny’s Short Story
My Daddy’s Cologne is a short story about a boy who does not know his father. He puts his fathers cologne on everyday in hopes that his father will find him and they can be together again. As a small child when the central character is with his mother on a bench by a grocery store his father sees his mother changing his diaper. His mother had a restraining order against in father and got security to come and make him leave. That was the last time the boy saw his father, and as security took his father away his cologne fell out of his pocket and they boy grabbed it and kept it ever since. I think it was a good idea for the story to be about a boy not knowing his father and wanting a relationship with him. I also really liked how the significant the cologne is to the boy because when someone we want in our life is gone we seem to hold onto specific objects that remind us of them. Some suggestions I have for Kenny would be to have the boy older when he sees his father for the last time. Most toddlers still in diapers do not remember events like this. Also I suggest to pick a different time frame then the 1950’s or take out spaghetti o’s and fruit roll ups because I do not believe spaghetti o’s and fruit roll ups were around in the 1950’s. It will make the story seem more realistic.