Ben's review of Jaime's short story

Jaime's story, I'm going to title as Ambivalence, is a narrative short story where the author describes her present life as being uneventful and average. She faces the problem described as "floating by" in life, a concept that many people can relate to. She is in school at a Community College, not motivated enough to attend a 4-year institution however doesn't want to commit fully to dropping out of school. Others have titled her as a smart kid who lacks motivation and discipline, I believe she feels the same way. Her life at home is the same as it is in school: an average everyday routine where she cares for her younger brother b/c her mother is busy, doesn't talk to her stepdad, and hangs out in her basement. She longs for a change, one with improvement, acknowledging that she is an amorphous clay needing to be properly molded. Another conflict that the author faces is that she feels as though noone truely cares about her. She knows people like her, but they don't care about her b/c she doesnt care about them. Jamie's problems and conflicts that she addresses in the story can be easily related to a younger audience, a main reason this story works well. Her description as a college student who feels as though she is "drifting by" in life is a feeling felt by many. One aspect I would improve on is to add in some events: this is a very good introduction however lacks some rising action. You can begin to see some when she mentions packing and moving, but to go where?