Joann Adamczyk's Review of Tracy, Aliza, Clare, Becca, and Jaime's stories.

Obliette
By: Tracy Madrid

I think this story is a little but too dramatic, shicking, and gory; although i do like the idea of of your story. I think a little bit more of a back story about the son and/or the Priest might be helpful, and what kind of people they are and what their personality is like. What i do like and what i think is your part of the story is how you describe how much the main character loves her son, and what her feelings are really like. This story has much potential, even though it is very intense , you do a great job drawing in your readers and making them read until the end to fun out what happens.

Mouse Story
by; Aliza Ghaffari

At least once in our life we have probably gone through what Lydia felt when she saved the helpless mouse and had to make a decision on what to do, and what was right. I love the way this story evolves, and the character's feelings behind an innocent mouse stuck to a trap. I also like how you describe the main character petting the mouse's ear and fur, I can really feel a connection there. I also like this story because when a mouse is in a trap set by us, we don't think about the creature's feelings, we just know that their dirty with germs. This story is certainly original and something outside the box.

Fish and Juleps
By: Clare McCauley

This story I believe is very meaningful and great in so many ways. When I was reading your story I felt connected to Ida and Clark, and i felt their connection to each other in the story. I enjoyed the first couple of paragraphs where you describe where you describe where Clark and Ida live, and my favorite line is, "The rain had brought down dead branches that could fill the vessel. There were rocks to worry about, at the shallow shore. I think your strongest moment in the story is when Clark discovers Ida biting her nails and she's biting her nails so much that there's dried blood underneath some of her very short nails. Also, I liked the part when Clark questions Ida's insanity when she thinks her cat is a different cat and she screams, "This....is not our cat." I really did enjoy this story and the feelings I had for the characters.

In His Eyes
By: Becca Hutcheson

I really enjoyed this story and how it's third person to where the reader is almost at dinner with these two people. I liked how you included "understatement" and the feelings the reader can feel about Alice. I also liked the kind of character you portrayed Alice, I believe she is a strong woman moving to Croatia by herself. I can really see her as a real person. The things I would change is the ending, it seems too open ended, What happens next? Also, a back story may also help to develop your characters more. Lastly, I think you need more of a setting, What is the restaurant like? Is it in America? This story is a great foundation for a love story, and I liked reading it.

Ambivalence
By: Jaime Hacker

I really liked this story a lot and I feel like we can all relate to have some sort of ambivalence in our everyday lives. I love how this story is in first person perspective and we can feel what the narrator is feeling about her life and how she feels about her day to day routine. My favorite line that illustrates how ambivalent the character is when she says "I'm leaving, you see, all of this feeling of ambivalence towards life isn't to say I want to die. That would require conviction, longing." I think this story makes an incredibly string statement about life and what we all are feeling internally from one day to the next.