review for nicki

In Nicki’s untitled short story, Jared takes a drug called Black Market Blood which involves slicing open his palm. He becomes addicted. Within, 6 months he is dealing the drug, selling to young users. The story is unfinished and doesn’t really have an ending but takes us into the life the dealer and explains the process of taking BMB. I thought the story had a lot of rich details which display knowledge of the psychology of a dealing drug addict. She speaks of a burning sensation very vividly in paragraph four she says “The fire crept up through his body, tensing each of his muscles as the flames enveloped him.” I think this a very effective use of language and I think when tapping into the mind of an addict it important to articulate the high they get upon dosing. I also like how the final paragraph displays Jared as a hypocrite because he is disgusted by the young addict who takes the BMB in the middle of the street. As much as this repulses Jared, he is can’t help but cave in to his addiction and also cut himself in the middle of the street. I think for revision Nicki should try and finish the story, because this is definitely an interesting start. Also I think she could perhaps describe the personal habits of Jared a little more because at this point all we know is that he has been addicted to BMB for six months and is now peddling it. I want to see if Jared has anybody he cares about and how their relationship has changed since he started using and whether or not it has affected him at work. I think a little more character development could go a long way here.